Let me confess, I got a cold. Worse than that...a strep/flu...all wrapped up into one. It’s still making its way through my system. But it's not as bad as all that. I mean - so what(?!) - I've had Cancer before (twice). How bad can this be…
And yet, people belly ache about their seasonal illnesses all year long. The common cold - in spite of what people claim about vaccines being effective - this complex of viruses (if that's fair to call them) impacts just about everyone in the northern hemisphere.
And I think it (the common cold or flu) is emblematic of all diseases...though fortunately, it’s not a commonly fatal (or chronic) malady.
I thought I’d transcended all that. With the parting of ways I've had with Sugar, and anything (chips or nuts) that come in a bag …it’s been literally years since I've really been hit by anything like this.
What I'd gotten used to happening, was that the symptoms would try to get a grip on me, but their effects were weak, and the real deal never fully took hold. Just a few month ago, everyone in my family got some bad bugs, but I wasn't touched at all (even though everyone was coughing all over me). Funny how immune we can be sometimes. Makes you realize how far beyond our control health can be!
I've become smug in my healthiness. I might be in the best shape I’ve ever been in, not just physically, per se - in terms of musculature - but thoroughly, from the inside out. I listen much better than I used to, to my Body and Spirit. I mind what I’m eating, set aside time to exercise, and stay on top of my self care quite steadily. Basicly, I'm in a lifelong training to be "a Soul Wisperer" (ie. to have the capacity to hear and communicate positively with my own and others Spirits).
So it's humbling to be "brought down" like this. It's always a learning experience, though. Illness has much to teach us. The first questions for me become: "what have I done wrong? How could I have avoided this?”
Self-blame is cruel, and worsens the cycle of the illness. Self reproach definitely makes it worse. At some point, some serious self-forgiveness is necessary to interrupt the cycle. You have to break that downward spiral…the chicken and egg of negatively overthinking your situation.
But let me sit with the badness, for a moment.
When you get sick, your body - the rock on which you stand daily - falters. Of course it’s worse with a more serious (or chronic) illness…you lose faith and trust in you. That basic tableau - within which everything happens to and through: YOU - it’s no longer what you’ve come to expect, it’s not reliable, dependable. The rules of engagement have somehow changed, and it doesn't seem fair, or "right."
No indeed - the Russian Roulette of illness and Death are not fair - our goal is to hedge our bets with prevention - and treatment.
Taking this statement further - many of believe we live in a universe governed by a benevolent G*d, but whether jealous or merciful - G8D cannot give us our way 100% of the time. We are each the center of our own reality, but in fact, we are all peripheral to the greater REALITY (and thus, not particularly entitled to any special treatment). This is a bitter pill to swallow, but the sooner we make peace with it, the sooner we can have a more balanced and ultimately respectful (and "at peace") view of The Creator.
So back to our compromised self. Being sick is a very damning state to be in - because as a body - if you can’t count on your own being, what can you count on? Your weakened state throws everything into question. You become alienated from a generally beautiful, provident world, and a mostly functional (and otherwise healthy) body.
Don’t think for a minute that I look at the world with rose tinted glasses. I’ve seen some of the worst, and I do believe that here on earth, we live in Heaven and Hell simultaneously. But like the glass half full or half empty, I believe you can view the same situation in a more or less positive light.
For some - and I spent a decade like this (at least) - everything can seem worse, like you’re living in purgatory (at best). And being sick definitely throws you back, deeper into that dungeon. I do believe - especially when I listen to the news (about atrocities committed here and abroad) - that for many, life on this planet, is hell on earth.
Back to me, and my immediate answers about what might have contributed to my current situation. One theory, is that I left the fan blaring on me while I slept sweatily last week, and it destabilized my aura (wreaking havoc on my overall metabolism). More than half the people I spoke to agreed that this could well have been the culprit.
The symptoms also began the night after I had Chinese food from a restaurant I like, but don't totally trust the cleanliness of. I do believe that germs from an unusual source can tip the scales. A variety of causes can conspire to make you sick.
A third theory is connected to the fact that I tend to overeat. Too much (of even healthy food) can backlog - with nutrients going bad, getting "caught in the filter" - which then require cleansing (or evacuation), through the illness.
Worst case scenario - if the raw material (of what you’re eating) is not that healthy - “the backlog” can result in the inexorable growth of pathological tissue - chronically (or fatally) complicating cellular function, a prime example being inflammation, and of course: Cancer.
Whatever the “real” cause of your situation - and, as stated, there can be several - and while disease can often be a fluke of chance (certainly it's always an unwanted guest with destructive intent) - disease is also, and very often (to its credit) - a healthy response to an unhealthy situation.
Let me pause, and draw attention to "the fluke factor" - bad luck (remember?) - s**t happens. In as complicated a world as we live in, lightning bolts (and tornadoes) do strike. Yes, there can be "favorable" conditions and standing out in a field may be riskier than being in your car. But when that wind starts to blow, can't nothing stop it.
Every natural disaster reminds us how little control we ultimately have. And disease, ultimately, is a natural disaster. So you have to "give unto Ceasar what is Caesar's" - let go and hold on simultaneously - try that on a hang glider!
All and still, just as there are (seemingly incontrovertible) Laws of Physics, a great deal of what happens around, and to us...is logical.
What else is your body supposed to do, when you treat it so? We're too busy to cook or make proper food. We're too busy to take any time to stretch, or work out (as much as our body may want, or need to). It’s no wonder your physical person develops a grudge and wants to "get you back” for your neglect. All it's looking for is some R-E-S-P-E-C-T (like the song).
Every time you don’t listen to your Soul, you're stacking the deck against you.
And we’re all willing to take the hit - whatever treatment or sick time (later) we need - that’s somehow “worth it” to get those things we need from our paycheck. Well guess what, your paycheck won’t always be there, but your body always will be - and once it’s gone - none of that other stuff will matter anyway. People need to start paying attention, doing everything they can before they get sick (not just after, when it’s often too late).
Work, our job, our "have to's" excuse every mistreatment of our own primary (and personal) system. And yet, if we pause, and take care of ourselves - others, and we ourselves - tend to think we're being selfish, self-indulgent…the worst…we can’t justify the down time!
And also - by behaving like this (taking time out to take care of ourselves) - we’re likely/surely bound to become indigent...because there's no money in self care. There's only money in "other-care" - taking care of everyone else - that's what pays (and has any moral currency). That "other" you’re servicing can be your boss or a client - heck, even (or especially?) “the man" - as you pay your taxes and comply with the prevailing laws of the land.
Would you still be doing what you do if there was no money coming in from it? If the answer is no, you have some serious answering to do to your inner self. We pay the price for our compromises.
And then there’s “the children” - the primary conservative force in our world (if you think about it) - why would we take risks or not tow the line…when we have to look out for, and provide for them…children first (remember?!).
People even avoid Divorce on account of children. Not to say that they’re not (in addition to saving a primary relationship) worth it, but to demonstrate the fact that self denial (for many reasons) is woven into our own very individualistic and narcissistic (in other ways) culture.
It’s like: we’re being goaded to take care of ourselves - in ways that make other people money (like through cosmetics, sports clubs, the clothing industry) - but not necessarily in ways that may cost nothing, but still achieve the desired effect of personal, lasting gratification, or satisfaction.
They say the personal is political - it’s true - the world feels more holistic (to me) if you can see how you connect beyond your self, right out into the Universe (another benefit & practice of my Crystal Concentrics Meditation).
Maybe there’s nothing you can do about it - your problem, or the world’s problems (or so you think) - but be honest about what you could really be doing (but maybe aren't), the ways in which your hands feel tied, how you’re stuck, and how that may be impacting your health and well being (never mind that of the planet).
Why can’t it be simpler - you just “got a bug, got a disease” - it’s not your fault at all, and there’s nothing you can do but fight it. This is the medical, strictly physical perspective. And it has its place. Car’s shocks are gone…fix ‘em…don’t ask about the bumps you keep driving over (which caused the damage in the first place), or "why me," or "what's the bigger lesson here."
Suit yourself - however shallow or deep you want to look - if everything happens for a reason ("the Fluke Factor" aside, though even that is an omnipresent reality to contend with) - I think it behooves us dig a little: explore the metaphysical context of your situation. I'm saying (on top of all the types of factors already explored): it could be evil spirits at work; it could be your own past lives catching up with you; the possibilities are limitless.
There's also "the Fog Factor," which is that it may not be for us to ever figure out what's happening, exactly, and why.
In any case - I’ve gone off on a few (relevant) tangents - I want to bring the conversation back to my own process…regarding the illness that’s come front and center…into my life. I’m banking on it’s being metaphorical for you and your own experience of illness, which could be more than informative…I’m hoping educational…in helping you think about (and hopefully improve) your own situation.
The purpose of this Blog is to be relevant, to apply, and to be of more general utility beyond my solo journey and meanderings.
What I realized - especially early on - is that the illness is not the only game in town. When it first was settling in, I saw it coexist, and in context, relative to the rest of me (which was not in duress).
Holding a larger sense of healthiness and positive continuity, makes being sick more tolerable…gives one hope…and gives you a sense that even if not in the moment, you will overcome. Yes - your throat may be burning, or you may have a tumor - but there are another x-billion cells doing just fine…let their voice be heard.
I’m remembering my Crystal Meditations, in which we take time to center into the body - that really helped me to acknowledge and get in touch with those other, healthy cells - and call them into play, see and acknowledge them for the good job they’re doing maintaining my overall health.
My spiritual practice of being with Spirit-apart-from-Body also helped, because I could know that the Spirit was unscathed by what I was going through - damaged, hurt, concerned, for sure - but somehow (also) immune to it all.
I had to have Faith that “this, too, shall pass.” Even now, a week in , while the unproductive cough has sunken deep into my lungs - my capacity to write an account of my experience is an act that will survive the pathology - and I like the way that demonstrates our eternal capacity to recover and/or transcend. Again, the Power of the Word.
Look at how much more Anne Frank has impacted people in death than she was able to in life. Not everyone can look forward to such a posthumous “reward,” but by being in the moment, doing the best she could with what she had (and grappling with the demons that presented themselves at the time)…she created something more valuable than she could know in the moment.
I’ve never been one to painstakingly plan and strategize - I, too, put one foot in front of the other - try to make for the steadiest footing that makes sense (and feels right, in the moment). My vibration is very steady - though I see what a flash in the pan I am, on the grander scale - which is why I like the Stones…they go on forever.
Indeed, while we are so very fragile - and can sometimes be challenged to find any part of us that is steady and sound - Power Stones are there, if we allow them to be…an extension of ourselves (and Creation)…that is solid and eternal.
Some people use Religion for solace - and I do too - it surely has its place. And I’ve argued elsewhere that the two are not incompatible. But what I like about the mineral world, is that it both precedes our human experience, and it will outlast us…making it somehow more elemental than anything we could dream up (through our various cultures). By associating with the mineral world, we borrow some eternity, draw from its strength, and share in its capture of Life & Creation energy.
So have I used crystals to get well? I mean, isn’t that the point, to use them for our service? Yes, and no. Crystals are not tools, like guns and scalpels, created exclusively to do our bidding. That is a beef I have with “the literature,” which seems to suggest as much. It’s the whole Biblical thing about us having been given dominion over all things earthly. Yes, that may seem so - and is a power that we have - but it’s also a responsibility, which people don’t tend to grasp, or hold onto as well.
Everybody wants the easy part, the quick fix, which is why I don’t give “crystal prescriptions” - “you have this problem, take/use that.” It’s more complicated than that. And also, I’ve had a major breakthrough, in terms of understanding how Crystal energy work is not, nor should it be compared with Medical work.
Indeed, this is also why I don’t believe in gem elixirs - because I don’t think they should be ingested - that is the role of other substances (herbs, medicines, food). An important distinction must be made between physical treatment and metaphysical treatment. They are not, nor should they be, compared or used in the same way (or for the same purposes).
Crystal Energy is meant to be seen with the Eye - interpreted and working through the Mind, or Imagination - and looped through the Body via Touch (the cycle).
Science is the wonderful art of identifying and working with the recurrent, visible laws of Nature. But not all such laws (of the Natural World) are consistent, measurable, or tangible. The metaphysical world may never be quantifiable in the same way, which is why I have no agenda for bringing Crystal energy into the mainstream, through scientific justification…can’t be done…and shouldn’t be.
In the metaphysical world, the law is often that there is no law - that we can see and perceive tendencies and subtleties - but that Reality is relative, subjective, untamed. We can coax it, shepherd it, but it goes its own way, in its own time. The myth of control has been debunked.
I take my remedies (and there are many): steams, elderberry, lomatium root, food grade vitamin C, echinacea, cranberry juice…the list goes on…and they all did their thing (heck, even aspirin helped!). But in the absence of a trusted Crystal Healer, I had to rely on all the previous work I’ve done with Spirit, to tide me over, and give me strength in my weakness.
I feel too many (most?) people reject, or pass over the potential of working with a true energy healer - because they want the tried and true - and don’t want to take chances (or make changes). I notice they mostly don’t want to look at “their stuff,” or do the hard work of going through the valley to get to the other side.
My work ultimately has to be demonstrating why and how it’s worth it (to work with Crystals). Alas, I have not trained someone else to take my reins, or do what I do (yet). But I'll keep on keeping on. Bit by bit, these blogs (and my eventual books and other publishing projects) - as well as the events I host (live and online) - as well as my showcasing at Expos, will together put my footprint on this important area of human endeavor.
Were it a bigger, life threatening illness (this pesky cold/flu), I would have wanted to have some energy work, for sure. Being very independent, and untrusting of authority per se, there are very few folks I’d trust or want to work with (or “on” me). I’m leery of generalizers and “false prophets.” So my memory and source work with Crystals has had to carry me through, until such time as I can work the gears and have the Soul energy flow again, unfettered (and uncomplicated).
It’s helpful to know - it flows here, right beside me, through me - even when I don’t see it, or feel it (cause I’m so busy feeling crummy). I’m reminded again of the response a spiritual leader gave my son, when he (my boy) confessed that he’s not sure he believes in G8D: “that’s okay” he was reassured: “G8D doesn’t mind” (the assumption being that G8D is always there, whether you see him/her, or not).
Our role is not to question or even to seek the Universal Life Force (per se), but rather - to simply let it be (it’s all around, and within us)…to let it flow through us. Stop trying so hard. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t “have it” already.
Independently from applying meaning or causality to your illness - to have it “make sense” - we often hear folks saying their illness (regardless of the cause or outcome) has taught them something, and for that they are grateful.
Had I not gotten those 2 bouts with Cancer, I would have never changed my diet or thought patterns, which I think would have done me in the third time around. Hitting a dead end forces you to make a turn, take a new path. Being sick now - and stuck somewhere without Internet - has enabled me to capture these words in a way that feels more relevant because I’m actually going through some real discomfort (and an extraction from my element) in the moment. My hope is that you'll be able to make some sense from this collection of thoughts.
Our journey is laden with lessons and gifts. We just have to see them for what they are, or can become. Gloom and doom will never spawn life, for you or others. That is why I have to assert: “I am sick. And I am well.”
To review - I have explored some of the things that happened, which "put me at risk" - as well as the lessons to be learned, including a discouragement of self-blaming. It's good to correct your course, and know where you've gone wrong, but beating yourself up about things will not fix them.
I've discussed the Fluke Factor (of chance) and the Fog Factor (of uncertainty), as well as the need to connect the microcosm with the macrocosm. Avoidance does not really serve you, nor do excuses, however good they may be at distracting you from your path. Try to see the good within and around you, and draw strength from both.
The world does not revolve around you, but you should certainly hold your place in the merry-go-round. Reach out and seek healing, from allopathic and alternative sources, they're all here to serve you. Know that there are limits to control, and that ultimately, our fate is in the hands of forces much larger than we can imagine.
Enjoy Life while you've got it!
About the Author: Kyle Russell has been working with Crystals for over 25 years - inducted into working with them through a supernatural experience - but building on the knowledge and evolving it through sharing...via in-person and virtual offerings, including an extensive social media presence...and a growing, written record of his thoughts and observations. Feel free to reach out to him, and learn more about his Awareness, and how it can help you. Email Kyle@CrystalConcentrics.com.